Hi Joyce,
These past few days, I've been trying to find a purpose to write because of this, I've been going around the internet trying to find inspiration. I went from one blog to another, skimming, looking, searching for that spark that would rekindle something inside.
Then I came across blog posts about people writing to younger versions of themselves, I also tried doing that but for some reason, I could not find something that I wanted to tell my younger self.
However, earlier in the shower, as I was deeply contemplating what is it that I wanted to tell my younger self I thought of something that I wanted to write to my future self instead.
And so it goes...
Years from now you'll be promoted in ways that you've never imagined. You'll be going places, you'll experience life, you may even be with someone already or you may have a family of your own but regardless of what season you are in, I want you to always remember these three things:
Be kind, in and out of season. It is easy to be kind when things are spiraling up but I want you to be your kindest when life feels like a roller coaster of disaster. Be understanding and remember that people have reasons as to why they do certain things. Know that there is always the other side of the coin that you don't know of, people have unspoken stories and pains that they go through just like you do. Regardless of their reasons, whether it is justifiable or not, be the one who extends yourself to others. Do not spite people for being unable to respond in the same way that you do, always give them the benefit of the doubt. Give even when you get nothing in return, love even when it is hard and ugly, believe even if all hope seems lost, and always put others above yourself. Should a time come wherein people take you for granted because of your kindness, that is fine. I'd rather that you're the one being taken for granted than the one on the other end. Some people may not understand this, it may even sound foolish, it sounds foolish to me even now as I am writing this but I believe that kindness is like a bottomless pit, no one is ever kind enough.
Be vulnerable, cry if you must. I understand how you wanted to be the strongest person in the room, I know just how much you want to fix things, how you want to fill the gaps in other people's lives and it can be tiring. I know that you have the tendency to fight even when you are wounded but when things are tough, sometimes being strong is knowing when to let go and when to cry. You need to understand that you cannot heal every wound, you are not a savior, Jesus is. Learn to cry, to accept defeat, and most importantly, learn to love yourself; you cannot give what you do not have.
Lastly, be humble. As you reach new heights people will start looking at you, they'll start to notice every big and small thing, every right and wrong deed. Some will praise your works but remember where you started. I want you to remember the times when organizing chairs brought you so much joy, and it didn't matter if you were just among the unknown faces, what you do doesn't need to be seen by everyone, it only needs to be seen by God. I want you to remember the times that you silently cried but still chose to love and put yourself before others. Remember that people's approval will not validate your identity but that pleasing God is everything. Also, people will see your flaws, be humble enough to accept your shortcomings, accept criticism, and move forward. Your flaws are proof that we live not on our own righteousness but through Christ's.
Life is going to knock you down, it will hurt, it's messy but keep yourself on track. There are going to be days when you'll run as if you're flying, then there'll be days when you are barely moving like a snail, and there'll be days when you will stop to catch your breath and regain your strength and all this is fine as long as you are on the track. Never give up, hang on!
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